An accurate description of service

2 blog posts in 1 week! I'm really getting it together. just kidding, I actually was about to go to bed but then found the passage below on another PCV blog and felt like I needed to post it asap.

Quick note on my life the past week:
Its been a torrential downpour at site the last couple days, which has essentially left me stranded in my house. I was supposed to walk to town to meet my counterpart and discuss what I’ve been up to, but that wasn’t really an option with Hurricane Katrina raging outside my window. Makes me kind of wonder what in the hell I’m going to do during monsoon season, when it rains EVERY. SINGLE. DAY….one can only watch so many episodes of TV on their computer in a day (I admit, I watched 6 episodes of Dexter in one day). I did let my sister cut my hair though. All I can say is that I’ve made better life decisions before…

My grandma made kir for dinner tonight, and let me tell you, kir is absolutely delicious, but also terribly bad for you. You basically cook rice in pure milk and add a crap ton of sugar until it is a pudding-like mixture. And then my grandma poured melted butter all over it. And that, my friends, is the reason why I will have diabetes when I finish service here.

On a more serious note, in my spare time I like to read other PC blogs from all over the world; gives me an idea of what other PCV’s are up to and sometimes helps me out when I’m struggling with being here. I stumbled across a blog from a PCV in Tanzania, who had stumbled onto another PCV’s blog from Cambodia who wrote the following: (I take no credit for this, and like the PCV from Tanzania, I don’t feel like I could express what Im going through any better than this):

“Dear Person Contemplating Joining Peace Corps,

I imagine that you’re at a transition point in your life. Perhaps you’ve just graduated, perhaps you’re going through a career change, perhaps you have an itch for something more that can’t be scratched. Whatever the reason, here you are: contemplating joining Peace Corps.

But should you? Is it right for you?

Honestly, you might not know that until you’ve arrived. You can research by reading books and official publications or by talking with current/returned volunteers, but everything you read and hear will probably tell you the same thing: every person’s experience is different. Your Peace Corps life will be uniquely shaped by your country, program, and site.

I’d like to think, though, that there are a few things that are universal throughout the Peace Corps world, and those things tend all to revolve around how you yourself will change - for the better and for the worse - because of your time in Peace Corps.

‘Sanitary’ will become an obsolete concept. You will eat on mats that you know are saturated in urine. You will prepare food on counters that also serve as chicken roosts. You will not have consistent/frequent access to soap. You will eat street food that is undoubtedly questionable. You will be dirty, dusty, and sweaty at all times. You will have mind over body battles to force yourself to bucket shower in the winter. Bugs, lizards, chickens, ducks, and mice will crap on everything. These things will be ok. You’ll adjust. The sterile environment of the States will become a distant odd memory or a constant fantasy.

Your body, though, might not adjust as quickly. You will have parasites and infections and illnesses that you had never heard of before training. You will be constantly constipated. Or go the opposite extreme. I hate to say it, but you will probably poop in your pants at least once. You will learn to vomit over a squat toilet and into a plastic bag during a bus ride. You will discuss your bodily functions openly and enthusiastically with other volunteers. No topic will be taboo.

The way you communicate will completely transform. Learning a language from scratch through immersion is a powerful experience. You will learn to have complex communications though expressions, gestures, and basic vocabulary. You will learn to bond with another human being through silence. You will answer the same basic questions over and over and over again. You may never achieve the ability to discuss ideas and concepts. You will develop a new English language which consists of pared down vocabulary and grammatical structures. You will actively think of each word before you speak. Your speech patterns will slow. You will have to define words whose meanings you had always taken for granted. You will learn to listen.

Your concept of money will entirely alter. Paying more than $1 for anything will cause you to pause and question your purchase. You will understand value in the context of a different economic system. You will learn to barter, even on cheaper items. You will consistently feel as though you have been cheated on the price. You will be enraged by all prices upon returning to the States.

You will embrace the thrilling dichotomies of thrift versus splurge and ration versus binge. No one knows how to budget like a Peace Corps volunteer. And no one can binge like one.

You will be discontented with your work. You will wonder – and scream to the heavens – about the benefit of your presence. You will feel lost in unstructured expectations and crushed by promising ideas fallen to the side. Your expectations will fade into an unexpected reality. You will learn to celebrate small victories. You will look at mountains and see mole hills. You will try to tackle the impossible. Maybe you’ll succeed. Maybe you’ll just pick yourself up and take aim at another impossibility.

You will learn to do all of this through pure self-motivation. You will be the one to drag yourself out of bed and out the door. You won’t have anyone holding your hand or pushing your forward. Just you. You will become a stronger person for yourself, by yourself.

You will be a celebrity in your community. That status comes will hardships and benefits that will ineradicably change you. You will be the exception to the societal rules. You will be the foreigner, the one set apart. You will receive privileges and have special attention/status because of your nationality. You will always have eyes on you. You will have joined as an agent of culture exchange and understanding, but you will still find yourself falling into an ‘us versus them’ mentality. Use it. Consider it. Contemplate the value we place on people because of arbitrary characteristics. You will come away from your experience more attune to your own merits, to those that are deserved and to those that are given.

Your culture of personal space, one that maybe you have always taken for granted, will be challenged. You will wonder why you need an entire room to yourself while no one else even has a bed to himself. You still won’t want to give your room up. Privacy will be a privilege or a rarity, not a right.

You will lose all control of your emotions and be on an unpredictable roller coaster of extreme ups and downs. You will go from happy and confident to sullen and tearful by things as simple as ants in your candy or yet another child saying ‘Hello!’ Your highs will be high, but they will be fragile. Your lows will feel inescapable. Your family and friends in the States probably won’t understand this. Your isolation will force you to become your own support system. You will become aware of yourself in the context of solely being yourself.

Your government-issued friends will be your reprieve. The love and closeness you share with people back in the States won’t change, but it will be your fellow volunteers who understand. They will be friendships forged from necessity, and they will be deep and fervent.

You will witness a whole new way of life, and you will question your notion of necessity. You will consider your personal wealth, and people will constantly remind you of it. You will discover what your ‘needs’ are to live a productive, satisfied life. I hope you will remember that when you return to a culture of plenty.

You will be the biggest product of your Peace Corps work. You will change. And you will bring that change back with you.”

I’ll leave you to ponder the above passage, blog-readers! I personally feel that it sums up my experience thus far in PC Nepal.

And to end this little blog, I am proud to say that I haven’t pooped my pants yet, but I fear the day when that time will come.
Also, who follows my blog from Mexico???

Peace,

Alex

 

 

pictures!

helping feed my baby buffalo!

 new picture of my room

my favorite little nugget sitting by the fire (Aastha)

sunset in my village 

 almost finished seedling nursery bed

 only picture of me riding a camel!!!! 

 my sister Bishnu and I on the ferris wheel

5 months in

Hello loyal blog readers (aka mom).  Sorry I’ve been MIA the past month, but lots has been happening! Also the fact that I have internet at site makes me semi-lazy because I feel a lot more connected with the world so my blog has been suffering. Anyways, this is going to be a long one. Also I wrote this blog about 2 weeks ago but I realized I'm about 4 days away from my 5-month anniversary here in Nepal!! Time really has flown by.

So lots has happened since I last posted, which was right after New Years. This month has certainly had its ups and downs. N-199 isn’t doing so hot right now…we’ve had 2 volunteers ET (Early Terminate in PC lingo) in the past 2 weeks. Sadly, these 2 people were also people I was very fond of. Statistically, 20% of PC volunteers don’t finish the full 27 months of service, and for a group as small as N-199, who started with 20 volunteers, we’re halfway to fulfilling that statistic. Because we are such a small group, any one person leaving affects us all, as we all got very close during pre-service training.  I didn’t think them leaving would affect me that much but it really messed with my head for a good week and a half. My friend who left is back in the states now, and sometimes I just catch myself thinking like “hey, I could be back in the states too.” Like 2 weeks ago she wanted to go home. And 2 days later she was. I hadn’t thought about leaving at all until she left. We all know as volunteers we can terminate service any time we like. Yes, we took oaths to do this experience for 2 years, but when it comes down to it, I could be back on a plane to America tomorrow if I wanted. This experience isn’t for everyone, and although I DO feel that this experience is for me right now, it was strange to see someone take that option of terminating service early. It reminded me of how easily I could just go home. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on that much at home; at first I was but now its different…When I feel homesick its not like I really want to be home, but more a place where I can actually have real conversations with people. I don’t have that craving to be in America quite as much anymore, which I think is good? Anyways, Peace Corps staff came to my site for a visit right after all of this happened, which was very helpful as they also brought all of my Christmas packages from home! I probably consumed a pound of chocolate that week they visited. Also, my 2 friends who are back in America now…if you are reading this, I miss you both greatly and wish you luck!

Work has slowly been picking up here in my village and I actually have days where I feel like I’m not completely worthless. I think that is the hardest emotion for me to deal with here: feeling worthless. Just because you have those days where you feel like shit about your language and you just think ‘how the hell will I ever get anything accomplished here?’ But then I have days like yesterday which were simply fantastic. My sister and I met my counterpart at a training he was giving about mushroom cultivation. My village had recently undergone some training about it (I had blisters for a good week after from chopping up media for the mushrooms to grow in), so I got up and spoke about what I had seen and learned. It was half in English/half in Nepali, but I still felt good about it. My sister and I have also been going around to different farmers groups and giving trainings about making seedling nursery beds. We’ve been planting different varieties of gourds, squash and cucumber. Yesterday we spent almost 4 hours with one village and started with a giant pile of dirt and plastic and ended up with a neat rows of plastic bags filled with dirt/fertilizer and seeds that we then covered in mulch and plastic to let them grow. I also attended a meeting in my district center (districts are sort of like counties here) at the District Agriculture Development Office and met up with the other agriculture volunteers as well. My counterpart wanted me to speak so I gave a short speech about who I am, what work I am doing, and what I have learned so far. It was all in Nepali and I hate public speaking even in English but it turned out ok. Its honestly the simple achievements here that can make a day so much better.

The other day I was home alone with my grandma who had gone off to cut grass for our water buffalo, so when I received a call from my sister telling me to go to town, I simply left as I had no way of telling my grandma where I went. Well, on the way home with my sister, she decided to play a joke on my grandma/neighbors and call them and pretend not to know where I was. My poor grandma was on speaker phone and started crying because she said she lost me! My sister was peeing her pants laughing and when we hung up I had 5 missed calls from neighbors. I got home and my poor grandma said she had looked all over for me and because I had left my water bottle at home (which I rarely do, but I forgot), she had absolutely no idea where I could have gone for 5 hours. I then got lectured by my neighbors about how I need to let people know where I’m going from now on. Anyways, good to know my family and community cares!!!

Others happenings: our water was shut off for 2 weeks so my family and I were making multiple trips to the nearby water tap for bathing/washing purposes. Even though the water tap is down a very steep hill, my house is very close and I felt bad for the other families who trekked halfway across the village just to fill up their buckets.

My extended family came for a 5 day visit last week and like any family reunion, it was chaos. There were 12 people in my house at one point and because we cant all fit in my kitchen, we had to eat in shifts. Because of this rotational system somehow my 9 year old sister forgot to get fed which was actually hilarious because I feel like it was a Home Alone type of story. She came wandering into the kitchen at about 9pm saying she was hungry and everyone just looked horrified because somehow she never ate. We also slaughtered a chicken one night and had a huge chicken roast. We marinated the meat in a garlic/ginger mixture and I helped fry it in a huge pot of oil. It was delicious and when I was able to get pieces of chicken that were actually meat, it tasted like chicken from home! I’ve still been getting a lot of goat meat at various events I go to and I swear to god I had a windpipe on my plate the other day, so when I am able to eat actual meat it’s a very good day.

Besides helping wash dishes and clean around the house, my new favorite chore is feeding my baby water buffalo every night! He makes cute little buffalo sounds when he sees me coming with his milk. Because we use the milk for our own cooking purposes, he’s not allowed to nurse when he likes it so he gets very riled up around feeding time. I also learned how to make milk tea the other day which makes me feel that I can help out a little more, considering we have tea about 4 times a day.

Spent 2 days in Pokhara with friends last week as well, which was exactly what I needed after my first rough couple weeks of the month. I essentially spent 48 hours consuming pizza and beer and lattes but it helped recharge the batteries and I came back to site feeling very refreshed. It’s a blessing and a curse that Pokhara is near to my site. Its still 4 hours by public transportation so its far enough away I cant go for the day, but close enough for a weekend trip. Its bad because I spend so much money when I go, and for someone who makes the equivalent of around $150 a month its rough. Sometimes you just need pizza and beer though.

Think the 3 week cold spell at my site is over…back to being cold in the mornings but around 65 degrees during the daytime. When PC came to my site they told me im only at 500m above sea level…so much for my adventures in the mountains of Nepal! It explains the monkeys/hiding tigers though. Also saw a scorpion the other day which was disturbing as I was hoping those creatures didn’t live here.

This past week I attended a wedding and a Nepali fair!! Unfortunately, one of the days at the wedding was without a doubt my worst day in Nepal thus far. My sisters and I had started our small family vacation with a nice 2 hour bus ride with my little sister barfing up cabbage the entire way there. 3 of us slept in a bed that night, and it was one of those nights I wasn’t entirely sure I actually slept at all. I woke up with a raging head cold the next day at 5am and spent the entire day getting asked to dance by Nepali women. I was exhausted and freezing cold and was sick and tired of telling people I didn’t want to dance over and over again and its really hard to explain but it was just an overall shit day where I wanted to be as far away from Nepal as possible. I told my family I had a headache at 7pm and went to the room where we were staying and crawled into bed. Unfortunately, every single lady at the wedding who had a baby had put their children in there to nap, which was fine until one of the 2-year olds fell out of the bed it was sleeping in and started screaming. So I picked it up and headed back to the wedding in the pitch black and had to run around asking every single Nepali whose child I was holding. I eventually found its mom but then I got captured by the women and got force-fed rice but I eventually managed to escape and slept maybe 3 hours that night. FORTUNATELY, bad days are generally followed by good ones, which is good for me to remember here. As shitty as one day can be, its never permanent and I know I will feel better soon.

 And today I got to go to a Nepali fair!! It was like a normal carnival in the states, except without any sort of safety regulations whatsoever. I thought to myself instead of Peace Corps making rules about how we cant pierce our ears during service or ride a motorcycle, maybe they should make a rule that we aren’t allowed to ride on carnival rides. This one ride was a giant swinging hammer and people were standing and hanging on to the metal bars while it swung higher and higher. Naturally, I went on this ride 3 times. I also saw a Nepali magic show and was boggled because I seriously couldn’t figure out how this dude managed to make someone disappear 5 feet from my face. The best part about this whole carnival is that I GOT TO RIDE A CAMEL. Instead of normal pony rides, they had camel rides! I randomly ran into another volunteer at the fair and I made her ride the camel with me. It was awesome. I really wanted the camel to get rowdy and start running around but sadly we just walked, and had to duck our heads every 5 seconds so we didn’t get strangled by electric wires. It was super fun though and I also got to eat ice cream so it was a good day.

Alright, I realized I actually have a lot more to say but im going to save it for another post, hopefully which will be written sometime in the next week or so!

Namaste,

Alex