Untouchable

I had a spectacularly boring day today. I read all of David Sedaris’ “Lets Explore Diabetes With Owls” and ate 9 mini candycanes this afternoon for lack of other things to do. I have work projects going on right now (im starting a school library!), but they don’t exactly require me to spend every day doing them. While I was reading, I thought to myself, “its cold out, what would go nice with this book is a giant steaming mug of coffee.” So I jumped out of bed, got my little packet of instant Starbucks coffee and was halfway through the kitchen door when I remembered, I couldn’t go in the kitchen. Or touch any metal plates/cups/spoons/kitchen ware. Or wash my dishes in the sink. Or go down to the tap to shower or fetch water. Or sit on the same floor mat with a member of the opposite sex. And I definitely couldn’t heat up water to drink coffee. Why, you may ask? Because in Nepal, when a woman is on her period, she cannot do any of the above things. This includes me. I know this is probably a weird/taboo subject not commonly discussed at the dinner table during American family dinners but it weirdly is in Nepal. So since I accomplished nothing except reading an entire book and consuming massive amounts of sugar today, I figured I could accomplish part of Peace Corps Goal #3 (share host country culture with Americans) through this blog.

Periods are a weird thing here. They are openly discussed with all members of the family, female or not. For 4 days, women are untouchable. Literally, the verb used to express this means “untouchable.” In Nepali “Ma nachune bhae” translates to “I have become untouchable.” Which is what one must say during these times. I should also mention I am not speaking for all of Nepali culture here. This is largely a caste-specific thing. Brahmins and Chhetris (the two highest castes) are the strictest about this. I live with a Brahmin family and so must follow their cultural rules. Other female volunteers have no issues when it comes to that time of the month. My first homestay family I was with, Newaris (another caste), even let me cook. For 4 day in a Brahmin household, females on their period are not allowed to cook or fetch water. In a way, a lot of them like this time each month. It’s a decreased workload and they often sleep in because they are not allowed to do the work that normally requires them to rise at the crack of dawn. Normally, this doesn’t affect me that much. Since the arrival of my uncle’s new wife into our house, I have been doing practically no work. She has taken over all the cooking and cleaning. But come meal time, I am still required to sit on my tiny straw mat in the corner of our outdoor kitchen and eat, making sure not to touch any of the metal water jugs or other peoples plates. Even while being served food, others must make sure that we do not touch the food at the same time. The plate is put on the floor before I can pick it up. I must wash my dishes separately and set them out to dry in their own place. Male volunteer friends think a lot of this is demeaning, and I must admit it takes getting used to, but its mostly just very different from what we experience at home. At times yes, you do feel like a leper, when a family member mentions to a neighbor not to touch you, since you are on your period. When anyone comes over for tea, I must mention why I am sitting far away from everyone or why I am not partaking in chores. Its not even uncommon or weird for a visitor to ask “What day are you on?”meaning are you on your 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd, or 4^th day of your period? Basically, how many more days of being untouchable do you have?

Additionally, women must shower on the 2^nd and 4^th days. Normally I don’t care about this, except for when it is winter. LIKE NOW. I have been showering once every 4-5 days because of how cold it is. Side note: I think Nepal and Mongolia may be the only Peace Corps countries forced to shower outside in cold water when its cold enough to see your breath. So as you can see, showering twice in four days becomes largely an issue of mind over matter, as I must force myself to dunk my body in freezing cold ice water in a concrete room. Sometimes they do heat up water for me, but I often feel bad for asking because someone else must perform the task for me. I actually even had coffee today, but I had to ask my little sister to heat up the water on the stove. I hate when people have to do menial chores like heating up water for me, so this is my largest complaint. I also can’t heat myself by the fire during these times which is also hard during the winter. Fire in Nepal is believed to house a god, so it is considered “sacred” in a way. So a lot of the winter here involves me hiding in my sleeping bag, crawling out for mealtimes, and going straight back to the sleeping bag. Normally I sit in the mornings by the fire and drink tea and or hang out after dinner but its too cold in my corner of the kitchen so I just make a mad dash upstairs and crawl into bed.

Additionally, when girls here first get their period, they must be isolated in a room for 3 days where “sunlight and men” (apparently the world’s 2 evils) cannot see them. They cant go to school or even outside. My family is lucky because we have a side building where we store chairs and mats, etc. Others are not so lucky. Their daughters often sleep in the barns because there is no where else for them to go. It sounds barbaric, and yes it might be a little, but its also their culture.  I had issues respecting it at first. Maybe not so much as respecting but I more just had issues with how demeaning it felt to me at first. I had shared with my sister that we don’t exactly share these things in the United States. I don’t go around telling my neighbors when its that time of the month. But now its weird because even if I was home alone and needed soap or water out of the kitchen, I still wouldn’t go into the kitchen to get it. No one would see me, but I realize how disrespectful that would be to my family and maybe even a little part of me has been brainwashed into thinking I am “impure.” I’m not surprised I guess…its been almost 16 months in this country.

Anyways, just wanted to share my experiences with this subject. I realize it’s a fairly uncomfortable subject but it’s a cultural thing I experience every month, so I figured I should share it with my blog readers. 

Heres a picture of me and baby goat from my first month in Nepal to look at if you are feeling awkward

Baby goat and I in Chaap, circa September 2012

Off to curl up in my sleeping bag and watch some episodes of House before bed. I am particularly unhappy with Biraalo right now. He escaped into my room and crawled up into my tarp ceiling but ripped through an entire corner and fell onto my mosquito net, which then collapsed and showered rat feces, rice, and dirt all over my bed. Guess I’ll be doing some cleaning tomorrow! I’m also going to my first Nepali “engagement” tomorrow afternoon. I’m mostly excited for the food. They make sel roti at these types of events, which is my favorite kind of roti.

Love from Nepal,

Alex